2003 Archive

By , December 16, 2003 16:00

January 15, 2003 :: 4:06:00 PM

Holy…. errr yeah. The only thing keeping me from saying anything stronger than that is my favorite quote from South Park… “Dude, don’t say pigfucker in front of Jesus.”

And that’s what Britney Spears seems to be now… a pigfu… aww crap, I can’t bring myself to say it. Just go read the Fred News and find out for yourself. (Hint: Screwing your producer won’t make the album sound ANY better… trust me.)

In the “What the HELL?!” file…
Al Jourgensen of Ministry is rumored to be contributing to the new Limp Bizkit album. Want to read the juicy details? Here ya go. Thanks to azroth from Digital Noise for bringing this up.

posted by jennifer

January 16, 2003 :: 4:05:00 PM

Oh… and in case I haven’t said it before… Iann Robinson is one of my heroes and if he didn’t have a wife, I’d be trying to get up on that. *swoon* It’s so bad that every time my mom is watching MTV and Iann is on, she says, “Hey Jenn, your boyfriend’s on tv again!” Cute, isn’t it? This has been going on for a couple of years now.

I must now go send Iann an I Hate Fred Durst t-shirt. You should all respect the tattooed master of the music news.

Also, respect to my friends over on the Relapse Records forums who keep mentioning the site… you guys are awesome :D

posted by jennifer

January 22, 2003 :: 8:49:00 AM
My own MOTHER sent me the link to this Fred News, with the message, “freddy boy is a closet tree hugger.

Yes, my Mom is just that hip.

Durstmeister, yo… seriously, dude. Calm down. Methinks thou doth protest too much.

posted by jennifer

January 20, 2003 :: 10:40:00 PM

From Alternative Press, February 2003 issue:

The crowd at MSI’s Hollywood gig at the Whiskey A Go Go Oct. 29, 2002:
Limp Bizkit frontman/Interscope VP Fred Durst was seen in the attendance at the first of MSI’s last two-show stand in L.A. When the band broke into their song “I Hate Jimmy Page,” the crowd sang it back as “I Hate Fred Durst.” Durst left the venue soon afterward.

That’s funny stuff right there. Yes, we were at that show.

Thanks to Alyssa for bringing this to my attention. I guess I need to run out and grab the new issue of AP now ;)

posted by jennifer February 19, 2003 :: 8:05:00 AM

What an interesting week I’ve had!

So I went to Salt Lake City (I smell relocation plans), and on the plane there, I met Charlie from The Bachelorette. He was sitting right in front of me on the plane. I felt sorry for the poor bastard, since the stewardesses were fawning over him, as was every other female under the age of 50, other than myself. I tapped him on the shoulder and we had a brief conversation about how fame is annoying and America’s short attention span. And then we talked about Fred Durst and Britney Spears. Awww, how sweet! I had a moment.

So yeah, good times.

Was cleaning house on Monday, watching the TRL Awards on MTV (Hey, there was NOTHING else on!), and heard Carson Daly start asking Brit about Fatty. She had this disgusted look and all but admitted that he was pretty much stalking her and that they’d only worked together for three days. She also said – with that rather “ewwww gross!” face – that Ol’ Redcap isn’t her type.


posted by jennifer

February 10, 2003 :: 7:14:00 AM

Actually, it sounds like YOU have issues, Fred…

In another interview, however, Durst suggested that the two did hook up, albeit briefly. ”We were good for a minute, but it’s just too crazy,” he told TV’s ”Access Hollywood.” ”She has a life like Michael Jackson, it’s like out of control… The people around her, pulling at her, people around her that are full of s—, just agreeing with her, like, it’s kind of crazy. She almost can’t see what’s real and what’s not.” Durst, whose label just announced that tickets for Limp Bizkit’s summer tour with Linkin Park and Metallica go on sale in two weeks, added, ”I feel bad for Justin man, that he has to see his ex-girlfriend just jumping from guy to guy. I kind of feel bad for him, he’s a cool guy. And she’s a cool chick. I just think she’s got some issues, man.”

Is it just us or does he sound amazingly jealous there… bitter much, Fatty?

posted by jennifer

March 01, 2003 :: 6:03:00 PM

Spears’ spokesperson told the New York Post, ”Once again it’s Fred playing kiss and tell. Only Fred’s doing a lot more talking than he ever did kissing. This whole stuation is very junior high school.”

March 13, 2003 :: 7:18:00 AM

A lesson in irony, brought to you by an intern at Cosmogirl Magazine.

So I get home from work yesterday and sit down to check my email. What do I see? The following email, quietly tucked into my inbox:


Fred Durst needs your help! He’s competing against 12 hot celebs to win the CosmoGIRL! Survival of the Sexiest Poll! The winner will be on the COVER of CosmoGIRL’s next “Sexiest Guys in the World” issue!

Each month the guy with the fewest votes is bumped off the poll! So Fred needs help from ALL his fans. It would be great if you could let all your site’s readers know about the contest by announcing it on your site and linking to cosmogirl.com! I’ve attached a logo you can use.

E-mail me and let me know when I can check out the link on your site.


Michelle Fradua
(See attached file: survivalicon.gif)

Imagine my confusion. Were they simply trawling Google for anything resembling a website about Fred Durst? Is the intern a fan of this site, and recognizes amazingly wonderful and humorous irony when she sees it? Is this a prank? I wasn’t sure. Hell, I even held a poll on my LiveJournal, enquiring as to what I should do about this.

And this is what I’m doing. I am going to encourage all of you to vote FOR Fred, despite what I would normally do. I want to see that fat motherfucker on the cover of Cosmogirl. You know why? HIS CREDIBILITY IN THE ROCK WORLD WILL BE SHATTERED. Oh wait, he has none to begin with. So this will be even more fun.

Now, I know Fatty McDurst isn’t anywhere near “sexy” – Give me Henry Rollins any day… YUM!! – but I’m asking you to participate in this experiment. I think that we could get Fred on the cover of the magazine, and when you see the mag in the store, you’ll be proud to say, “That’s because everyone at IHateFredDurst.com voted for him!”

Sweet, sweet irony. Oh, how I love thee.

So yeah, get voting! FOR Fred… not against! You can vote for Fred as many times as you want, so if you have 10 minutes to spare, just keep clicking “vote again” and vote for Fred as many times as you can… every vote counts. Let’s innundate them with Fatty votes! He currently has the lowest rating, we can boost this significantly! C’mon people… he (supposedly) fucked Britney Spears! HE DESERVES THE COVER OF A FINE PUBLICATION SUCH AS COSMOGIRL! Let’s make this intern proud of us!

posted by jennifer

March 23, 2003 :: 3:55:00 PM

Okay kids… I decided to sign up and do my duty to my country.

No, I didn’t join the military. Are you fucking nuts? C’mon now, how stupid do you really think I am? (Don’t answer that, it’s a rhetorical question.)

I signed up to get tickets to the Jimmy Kimmel Live taping, again. For Monday, March 17. Why the hell would I do that. Well, if you didn’t know, Fatty was the guest host this past week, for the show. Also, because it was St. Patrick’s Day, and the musical guests were Flogging Molly (whom I am also going to see tomorrow night). Fuck yeah.

Yes, we booed every time Fred’s name was said and most of the times he talked. I would have loved to have done more, but they had security up the wazoo, and I didn’t really feel like going to jail in the name of Fred-harassment. Jail isn’t cool kids. So yeah, thank you to Megan (my trusty photographer), and Trish of THE BUBBLE!

posted by jennifer

April 15, 2003 :: 9:58:00 AM

MADRE DE DIOS…. TAPROOT!! We met Taproot last night. Yes, we fucking did.

So this is how it happened. The Josh procured pit tickets to last night’s Music As A Weapon show, in Los Angeles (yes, I flew out from Utah for it!). We got to check out Agrokulcher (a local band, who blew me away), Unloco (from Austin, Texas… a band that should be on EVERYONE’s playlists right now), and then Chevelle and Taproot.

Oh yes, and after I left the show, I met some guys from Madlife, who are AMAZING, from the sounds of the CD I was given… you all need to go check them out. They’re playing The Whisky on May 16th!

Disturbed… yes, well. I left before they started, as I was feeling tired (even an hour’s time difference gets to me, apparently) and quite frankly… I’m not a big Disturbed fan. I was there to see Unloco, Chevelle, and Taproot. Thassit. Josh is was a big Disturbed fan… until last night. This is hilarious to me… Josh thinks that David Draiman has a choregrapher or something, due to the way he was prancing around onstage. The thing I noticed (from out in the lobby, as I was writing shit down about the show in my shibby lil’ notebook – which was later signed by all the guys from Taproot and shall be scanned later) about Disturbed’s performance… David’s vocals were really high-pitched. He has SUCH a fucking studio voice. What’s a studio voice? It’s when a vocalist sounds like SHIT live, but pretty damned good in the studio… thanks to technological wizardry.

So Taproot… oh mah lawd. SO GOOD LAST NIGHT! Josh kept holding up a sticker towards the stage, and Steve finally noticed it. Fuck yeah! He waved Josh towards the stage and got the sticker, grinned really big, and held the sticker out for the audience to see. This is about the point when I smiled the biggest that I ever have in my life. Way too damned cool! So yeah, halfway through one of the songs, Steve got down into the pit with all of us, and of course I was in there… he ended up tripping over some big guy and fell over me. Heh…. joy. My upper lip is kinda swollen, but I’m okay and I had a lot of fun.

Met the guys after the show. Mike came out first and signed a few things for people and then headed off to the hotel for “alone time”… awww poor guy. He looked pretty tired. Touring’s rough. About an hour later, the other guys slowly trickled out. First Jarrod, then Steve, then Phillip. I got pics with all of them… including one of Steve’s Taproot tattoo and the ihatefreddurst.com official sticker – my last one, of many!

Jarrod was telling me that there are a couple more answering machine messages that they have from Fatty. One is him gushing how much he loves them, with their music playing in the background. Another one is of Durst horribly trying to re-write one of their songs, saying that they need “more general” lyrics that “appeal to a wider range of people”… and as Jarrod pointed out, it sounds like the Fredmeister was trying to do, with Taproot, what he did Puddle of Mudd! Hopefully we can get ahold of those other messages… but who knows. It would be rather amusing to hear them though!

posted by jennifer

April 12, 2003 :: 2:26:00 PM

Hey kids, Josh here. Jenn’s without net access as she’s just moved into a new place…

Thanks to Ultimate Athlete Magazine for publishing the story on Second Coming’s Travis Bracht, who is calling out Fatty for a wrestling match. Bracht, who is a huge fan of mixed martial arts, wants to get in the octagon with Durstyboy, to raise money for a children’s charity. Unfortunately, Fred has yet to reply to this challenge.

We will have more on this story in upcoming days.

But we have a deal for you! If you are too lazy to go out and get the Ultimate Athlete magazine, you have a chance to win one from us! That’s right, we have three copies of the mag to give away to the first three people who can answer our Fred Durst Trivia question.

Who is one of Jenn’s favorite directors and is now being boycotted by her, due to his alleged helping Fred out with the artwork on Limp Bizkit’s new album?

All you have to do is be one of the first three people to answer this question correctly and you will win one of the mags. E-mail the answer to [CONTEST CLOSED]. Be sure to include your name, your VALID e-mail address and your answer to get a chance to win.

posted by josh

September 21, 2003 :: 12:38:00 AM
WHOA!!!! A friend of mine msg’d me on Yahoo tonight with the following:
him: HEY!!!!!!
him: ihatefreddurst.com is on mtv!
me: trlies
me: asdljfkasdf
me: lies.
him: they are doing a ‘fantoraphy’ about fred durst

So I ran into the living room and flipped the television on. No, I wasn’t on… thank goodness. But about five minutes later, I saw the commercial for the show airing on Monday night at 6PM… they SHOWED THIS WEBSITE!!! So kids, I guess if you want to see this website on MTV, tune in on Monday night at 6PM.

posted by jennifer

October 07, 2003 :: 9:24:00 PM

Hey, if you’re that guy from GQ Magazine, feel free to contact me at your convenience. I’m sorry that I didn’t get your email until just recently, but my mailserver was acting up, and you didn’t leave a phone number with the owner of the server that you contacted…

I’ve tried to email you twice, but the mails bounced, and I left a message on your voicemail… so uhhh… yeah! :D

posted by jennifer [and yes, the dude from GQ did end up contacting me]

October 08, 2003 :: 9:39:00 PM

Limp Bizkit Sued By Unsatisfied Fans
According to The Smoking Gun website, Fred’s antics in Chicago has resulted in a lawsuit by 172 concert-goers against the band…

OCTOBER 8–Hey, where can we file an amicus brief? Fred Durst and his Limp Bizkit bandmates were sued today in Chicago by 172 concertgoers who claim they were ripped off when the rap/rock group ended a July performance after only 17 scintillating minutes. According to the below Cook County Circuit Court lawsuit, Limp Bizkit cut short its set at Cicero’s Hawthorne Racetrack after instigating fans by displaying “obscene and profane messages to the crowd via four giant monitors.” The complaint also alleges that Durst yelled “disgusting homophobic and anti-gay statements” at the crowd, and continued his vulgar diatribe even after the group fled the stage (Fred took his mic with him). The breach-of-contract suit, filed by attorney Michael Young, seeks a $25 refund for each attendee at the July 26 show, which also featured Linkin Park and headliner Metallica. According to the complaint, 40,000 people attended the “Summer Sanitarium Tour” stop, tickets to which cost $75. (11 pages)

Read the lawsuit here.

I propose a class action suit against Fred for his mere existence. Anyone want to get in on that one?

posted by jennifer

December 16, 2003 :: 4:00:00 PM

Open letters to Spin and Rolling Stone…

Spin = The New Hustler?

First, you make me want to go shove my hand down my chonies, with the mental images of a shoeless David Cross crushing a Limp Bizkit CD. Then, you smack me with an entire article of moronic Durst antics, in which you managed to include something I hadn’t even covered on my own website – the Elvis/Kurt tattoos – due to the sheer audacity of it. When are you going to start including a vibrator, so that I can properly take care of myself after reading your magazine?

I think I chose a lifetime subscription to the wrong magazine…

Wow. I’ve slowly been losing respect for Rolling Stone over the last couple years, due to your bowing down to every bowel movement passed by The White Stripes and every belch that escapes the lips of every not-yet-a-woman willing to pull her panties down a few inches on your cover.

But this takes the cake.

Your little blurb on Fred Durst’s kiss-and-tell with Britney? Not only was that barely highlighting Fred’s antics this year, but it was written in the exact same style that I write most of the satirical pieces on www.ihatefreddurst.com. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but in this case, I’m disgusted.

Leave the haterade gulping to the big kids, and go back to doing what you guys do best… chasing the girls on the kindergarten playground of pop music.

In my efforts to further the readership of Spin, I encourage you to go purchase their January 2004 issue – “The Year In Music 2003” – and read their article on Fred Durst, along with their article of David Cross and John Mayer trashing a bunch of singles from this year. There’s also many other articles that are worth a looksie, so it’s well worth your hard-earned cash.

And as a big fuck-you to Rolling Stone, here’s the “blurb” I’m referring to, from page 56 of Issue 938/939:

‘Nookie’: R-i-i-ght
Fred? Listen, it’s time for a sit-down. No, no — don’t get up. The whole Britney thing? You’re starting to sound like one of those high school guys who won’t accept when his girlfriend breaks up with him, so he stands in front of her house until her dad calls the police. What? Not this again. Right, the Howard Stern thing, where you said you boned her on the first night. Stop interrupting! Right, she doesn’t wax down there. Fred? You’ll feel better if you admit this never happened. All right? That’s better. A hug? Sure. Let it out. Shhh. Let it out.

Now tell me that doesn’t sound like half the posts I’ve written about Fred’s bullshit? Yeah, I know… it totally does.

Let’s do a quick comparison shall we?

Spin Magazine – Chris Martin (Coldplay) on cover / $3.99 at the newsstand / multi-page article on why Fred Durst sucks / lots of other well-written articles that are fun and informative to read.

Rolling Stone – Justin Timberlake on cover (for the millionth time) / $4.95 at the newsstand / one paragraph on Fred Durst being a dumbass / half-assed articles praising dumb broads like Tim Armstrong’s whore of an ex-wife and declaring Clay Aiken a genius yet again.

Which one would you choose?

Yeah, me too.

posted by jennifer

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